I was just sitting on my parents front porch watching the rain come down. What had started as a drizzle, quickly grew into a downpour. It was as if a colossal sponge was being wrung out over the neighborhood. A kid biked past on the street in front of me, umbrella in one hand and other on the handlebars, seemingly undisturbed by the showers. It seemed so funny to me. People continuing as normal, just getting wet in the process of whatever they needed to do. The strangest thing was how odd this was to me. Something as simple as rain, something I grew up in and around and even grew to despise was now so entertaining and comforting. It felt so peaceful: maybe it was my parents just inside or the fact I felt safe with my dog beside me, or the fact that I felt no pressing need to do or be anything in their presence.

Home. Many long for it and many search for it. People spend their life savings improving it and their lifetime investing in it. It’s where you find rest. It’s where you fit.

So what do you do when there is no location that meets those needs? When you don’t seem to “fit” anywhere?

David was a man in transit, spending years on the run from Saul. He made his dwellings in cities unfamiliar, in caves, with people who were drawn to him because of stories they heard. He had no front porch to sit on. Where was home for him.

Psalm 84

How lovely is your dwelling place,
O Lord of hosts!
My soul longs, yes, faints
for the courts of the Lord;
my heart and flesh sing for joy
to the living God.
Even the sparrow finds a home,
and the swallow a nest for herself,
where she may lay her young,
at your altars, O Lord of hosts,
my King and my God.

Despite his transient lifestyle and lack of comfort, it wasn’t home he longed for: it was something altogether different. He continues in verse 4:

Blessed are those who dwell in your house,
ever singing your praise! Selah

Blessed are those whose strength is in you,
in whose heart are the highways to Zion.

I’m finding more that my parents house feels less like home. It has been a funny transition and strange to think of the place I grew up so differently. I remember first moving away and missing it so much. I sat in my new room in Clovis, a thousand miles from everything I knew, but it might as well have been a million. I remember praying, “Lord, help this to feel like home, Help this to feel like that place of comfort” In His gentle love He told me something I didn’t expect to hear, “This isn’t home. Home is my presence.”

We were not made to be bound to objects, to locations, even to people. All are a part of the journey, partners for different seasons and lengths, intended to run besides us. However, these people and places, even when God given, were never meant to be the goal. The moment “the thing” becomes the finish line, we lose sight of why we are running: Him. He is the goal and the aim: the ultimate prize.

I have wrestled with the thought of home many times in the past 18 months. Why God would remove me from what was so familiar? Each time God brings me back to His gentle whisper: home is my presence. Would I have pursued Him, as He desired, if I had still felt so comfortable?

David learned the lesson that the Lord desires us to learn: we will never truly be comforted outside of His presence. Even the best of circumstances cannot compare with where He is.

David continues in verse 10:

For a day in your courts is better
than a thousand elsewhere.
I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God
than dwell in the tents of wickedness.
For the Lord God is a sun and shield;
the Lord bestows favor and honor.
No good thing does he withhold
from those who walk uprightly.
O Lord of hosts,
blessed is the one who trusts in you!

I am still learning, but finding rest in Him is becoming less foreign and more of my focus. Near or far, rain or shine, home is not far. Its chasing after me with an everlasting love: in pursuit of my heart and my devotion, changing me with every mile.

Home is finding me.

In coffee shops and conference rooms.

And on occasion, even front porches.

Psalm 69 (English Standard Version)
Psalm 69
Save Me, O God
To the choirmaster: according to Lilies. Of David.
1Save me, O God!
For the waters have come up to my neck.
2 I sink in deep mire,
where there is no foothold;
I have come into deep waters,
and the flood sweeps over me.
3 I am weary with my crying out;
my throat is parched.
My eyes grow dim

with waiting for my God.4 More in number than the hairs of my head
are those who hate me without cause;
mighty are those who would destroy me,
those who attack me with lies.
What I did not steal
must I now restore?
5 O God, you know my folly;
the wrongs I have done are not hidden from you.
6Let not those who hope in you be put to shame through me,
O Lord GOD of hosts;
let not those who seek you be brought to dishonor through me,
O God of Israel.
7 For it is for your sake that I have borne reproach,
that dishonor has covered my face.
8 I have become a stranger to my brothers,
an alien to my mother’s sons.
9 For zeal for your house has consumed me,
and the reproaches of those who reproach you have fallen on me.
10 When I wept and humbled my soul with fasting,
it became my reproach.
11When I made sackcloth my clothing,
I became a byword to them.
12 I am the talk of those who sit in the gate,
and the drunkards make songs about me.
13But as for me, my prayer is to you, O LORD.
At an acceptable time, O God,
in the abundance of your steadfast love answer me in your saving faithfulness.
14 Deliver me
from sinking in the mire;
let me be delivered from my enemies
and from the deep waters.
15 Let not the flood sweep over me,
or the deep swallow me up,
or the pit close its mouth over me.
16 Answer me, O LORD, for your steadfast love is good;
according to your abundant mercy, turn to me.
17 Hide not your face from your servant;
for I am in distress; make haste to answer me.
18 Draw near to my soul, redeem me;
ransom me because of my enemies!
19 You know my reproach,
and my shame and my dishonor;
my foes are all known to you.
20 Reproaches have broken my heart,
so that I am in despair.
I looked for pity, but there was none,
and for comforters, but I found none.
21They gave me poison for food,
and for my thirst they gave me sour wine to drink.
22 Let their own table before them become a snare;
and when they are at peace, let it become a trap.
23 Let their eyes be darkened, so that they cannot see,
and make their loins tremble continually.
24 Pour out your indignation upon them,
and let your burning anger overtake them.
25 May their camp be a desolation;
let no one dwell in their tents.
26 For they persecute him whom you have struck down,
and they recount the pain of those you have wounded.
27 Add to them punishment upon punishment;
may they have no acquittal from you.
28 Let them be blotted out of the book of the living;
let them not be enrolled among the righteous.
29 But I am afflicted and in pain;
let your salvation, O God, set me on high!
30I will praise the name of God with a song;
I will magnify him with thanksgiving.
31This will please the LORD more than an ox
or a bull with horns and hoofs.
32 When the humble see it they will be glad;
you who seek God, let your hearts revive.
33For the LO RD hears the needy
and does not despise his own people who are prisoners.
34 Let heaven and earth praise him,
the seas and everything that moves in them.
35 For God will save Zion
and build up the cities of Judah,
and people shall dwell there and possess it;
36 the offspring of his servants shall inherit it,
and those who love his name shall dwell in it.

This is nothing conclusive; just some things that I was studying today at Starbucks. enjoy :)

I love how honest David is. He never holds back in expressing himself to the Lord, even when upset or angry. There was such depth in their relationship. He knew that the Lord already knew exactly where his heart was and exactly what he had done. In verse 5, David says, “the wrongs I have done are not hidden from you,” The Lord is aware of everything, so why should I pretend?
I think greater than his honesty was David’s ability to praise. You may say that this doesn’t sound like praise. David is busy crying about everything that is going wrong in his life. Where is the Lord? The change happens in verse 13 with one word, “But…”. . In one word, David takes a step back from his current mess, looks up and remembers who his God is. “But,” David states, “as for me, my prayer is to you,” Even when David was in terrible situations he was able to shift his attention from his surroundings and on to the Lord. I remember one of my bible professors in college telling us that David was truthful before the Lord, but he never left his Psalms in a place of complaint; he always turned it back to praise.

I love verse 13. It gives me hope. My ability to worship the Lord is not dependent on ideal situations. True worship, pure worship, happens in the place of sacrifice and brokenness. Obedient worship is the product of broken worshippers. Just look at verses 30 and 31 “I will praise the name of God with a song; I will magnify him with thanksgiving. This will please the LORD more than an ox or a bull with horns and hoofs.”God cares about my ability to praise him not just in my moment of triumph but in the moments of great defeat.
That’s where I want to live, in an attitude of praise and honesty before the Lord.

After a week of prayer and processing, I am still amazed at what God did at TheCall San Diego. This event was both physically and spiritually stretching. I know I was not alone in thinking, “How are we going to pray for 12 hours?” I knew this was going to be a challenge for me, let alone a high school student. I must say that I was thoroughly impressed by the level of maturity displayed by our students. They really stepped up.

You would think that there would be a great sense of personal accomplishment after an event like this, the feeling I somehow achieved something great by fasting and praying. I think the greatest lesson was not about my ability but rather my inability.

I don’t naturally pray for other people that I don’t know and care about.
I don’t naturally fast.
I don’t naturally even love God.

I think that the apostle John pens it well, “for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.” I can only truly intercede for a people if my heart is broken for them out of love; I can only truly love people through receiving the love of God and knowing his love for them.

I have always wanted to pray more, but seldom felt pressed to pray. Last Saturday, I felt pressed to pray, because the Lord began to break my heart with the things that break his. The Lord weeps over those caught in sin. The Lord weeps over sexual immorality. The Lord weeps over young people. He weeps over children. Rather than me praying out of obligation, I want to pray with the Lord’s heart. It sure is easier!

I was also overwhelmed by the purity of the prayer at the call. People were not there for a man or to be entertained; they were there to pray. What an incredible day, but even more, what an incredible call to live and pray differently.

Here is a quick recap of our recent trip to Mexico. Enjoy!!!

Building team; Our building team spent four days working at the new church building in Mexiquital. They spent their time their doing various projects such as: painting the outside of the building and insulating and sheet-rocking the churches two bathrooms and classrooms. The pastors were so very blessed for the work that was accomplished that week. They said it would have taken them an entire year to do the same amount of work.

This was an awesome opportunity for mentorship as well. Four dads were able to come on this trip and teach building skills to our students. One student commented that the things he learned from them he wanted to take with him for the rest of his life.

Kids Ministry: The heart of the kids outreach was very simple: carry the heart of God, love the kids, and have a lot of fun. We spent four days in Mexiquital doing a VBS including crafts, games, songs, and a message. We were also able to feed over 80 children for 3 of those days. This was a big deal considering many of the kids that came to us in the morning hadn’t eaten for over a day. Jesus said if you give someone a cup of water in my name, you are doing it unto me.

Something that amazed me personally was the beauty and simplicity of the gospel. A group of children sat in the dirt, at a park in Boogambilias and heard about how much God loved them and how Jesus died to save them. That night, about 25 children prayed to receive Christ.

Everywhere our team went people were accepting the Lord. On one of the outings, a team of young people were heading to a house to minister to whoever was home. Just as they were approaching, a man delivering water jugs pulled up. Instead of sharing the gospel with the people inside they shared with the delivery man. In just three minutes of conversation, that man gave his life to Christ.

Healings: One of our translators had suffered from a “lazy eye” since she was very young. After an evening spent in worship and the prayer tent, she went to the kitchen before heading to bed. She said that for the first time, as she was filling up her water bottle, she felt the Lord standing beside her. She then headed to bed, removing her contacts as usual. Then, when a friend asked her to stay awake, Deborah opened her eyes and was shocked to realize that she could see. The Lord had completely healed her eye sight and she now has perfect vision! Praise God.

Beyond all the stories, all the kids hugged and nails driven, we as a team walked away changed. The Lord opened our eyes to the needs around us; to the need not just beyond the border, but next door. In the words of one of our translators, “Everyone needs Jesus…even the water guy!”. It is amazing how simply looking differently at the people you come in contact with can change your perspective on missions. Many of our students have carried this call and begun evangelizing here in the community. A team of students are joining up with a group to evangelize at Riverpark every Saturday night. Students are taking it upon themselves to pick up trash on their campuses to show God’s love in a practical way.

I Praise God that we were used this past week in Mexicali. But even more, I praise God that we can be used everyday.

Please pray that we as a body carry this call to missions: not just when we go but as we go about our day. May we be a people with hearts that burn for the Lord, eyes open, and arms out stretched—that the world might know him as we make him known.